Beware: performance police cars roam the streets

All young people driving citizen hatchbacks, please pay attention to the exhaust noise! Your days of front-wheel drive burnout and general hustle and bustle may soon be over. The police are slowly waving goodbye to Crown Victoria Interceptors, which is more like a ship than these newly adjusted models. Not to be too scared to wear a neon hooligan back cap, but the car with the smallest horsepower has 355 interception ponies. Most of you probably know that police cruisers have been adjusted to get more power and upgraded to fast and level turns, but it's not just about adjusting some new fleets. Two of the cars are custom-made models that the public cannot even buy. Let’s take a look at the current statistics of each gen police car, just to understand the performance around your local Dunkin’ Donuts.

2012 Chevrolet Caprice PPV

2012 Dodge Charger Pursuit

2013 Ford Police Interceptor

2012 Chevrolet Caprice PPV

When you first look at this car, you may think, “Oh, well it’s just a new FWD Malibu to patrol shopping centers.” Well you would be a little far off, because this car has muscle pedigree. You may have thought that the

G8

(GTO) died along with the Pontiac name, but it hasn’t! It lives on underneath the understated Chevy skin, and will now be spending most of its time pulling over Integras for aggressive starts. With the face lift it has the same 6.0 liter V8 engine and 355 hp as the G8 GT sedan. It’s RWD, and can do 0-60 in a quick 5.7 seconds. The suspension is supposed to ride very smooth, especially on rough roads, but tends to roll over its own ankles under heavy cornering. However when compared to the next couple it looses some of its intimidation.

2012 Dodge Charger Pursuit

The Dodge Charger is the most common cruiser I see around town now, only just recently noticing a couple of the Caprice cruisers. It is basically a Charger R/T with a big 5.7L 370 hp Hemi V8. This car has been upgraded with reinforced doors and roof, as well as bigger brakes, and tougher suspension that also allows the Charger to corner flat while speeding down an off-ramp. The party piece of this car is its “stealth mode”, where it turns off all interior lights and has a small red ambiance light that is just bright enough to allow the officers inside to see what they are doing, while they are unseen by the target. That makes me almost want to go to the Police Academy, just so I could say “Activate the stealth mode...” and I would go unseen in the Starbucks parking lot, not that I’m implying officers enjoy doughnuts and coffee more than the average citizen, because that would just be cliche.

2013 Ford Police Interceptor

Finally, to my favorite of all the Police Interceptors, (never thought I would say that), and this defuses a major argument I’ve heard from STi and GT-R owners for a while now. Every kid that has taken out a ridiculous loan for an AWD street monster and poured every paycheck into modifying it goes on about how the heavy RWD police cars couldn’t keep up with their cars, especially on back roads, as if they would ever try it. Now that argument is over, to the dismay of the Evo owners club! The Ford Police Interceptor is available in a package of AWD with a twin turbo, *ahem*...twin turbo DOHC V6, that produces 365 hp! They have also reinforce the back of the car to take on a 75 mph hit. Now Ford says it is for highway impacts while parked on the shoulder, but perhaps they have j-turns and battering ram situations in mind, so watch out.

Now please forgive me for climbing onto my soapbox, but let me ask one thing. Is this really necessary? I am totally in favor of improving the safety of officers, which should be the top priority! However, it is expensive to develop these new cars with all the performance and technology, and the cars themselves are also very expensive! If they are actually chasing them and require 350+hp of energy, then they are likely to suffer some damage. On average, these new cars are about $4,000 more than the old cars, and the old cars are already in circulation. This brings me to two points. One, maybe they have watched too many Fast and Furious movies, but most people don’t run for it when they are stopped for speeding. If they do, they usually don’t appear in GT-R or Lexus LFA. middle. Secondly, I guess you have all watched an episode of COPS or those dangerous hunting shows. When a felon decides to participate, it usually starts with a Buick in the 90s, participates in a race, and then ends a Crown Vic with them. Finally, considering how much money is made from traffic tickets each year, there is no problem with cars surpassing the police. Although the numbers are vague and difficult to find, it is estimated that at least US$3.7 billion comes from tickets each year. Although these new cars are cool to talk about, they are genius solutions to problems that don't actually exist. Maybe bulletproof glass is a better idea.