Color me crazy-how to stop choosing car colors

I can change the color of the car like a girl changes clothes. I hope the manufacturer can invent a remote control for people like me. "I" refers to a fanatic who is obsessed with cars; the real high society of crazy car enthusiasts. People who self-inflate or contract based on reviews of their "babies". I like to compliment my truck. I usually say "Oh, stop that", but deep down I am like "Tell me more!"

I don’t need much. Really. Just a small device, on my key chain, to switch from red to blue or burnt orange or any other color my little heart desires on that particular day.

“Folks this particular color is called Linda Blair Green.”

With my most recent truck, a 2013 F-150 EcoBoost, I told myself sterling gray was the one. After carefully examining and debating all the other colors (and nearly purchasing a white one) I settled on gray – in homage to one of the best trucks I ever owned: a 2005 Ford Ranger, FX4 Level II. My Level II was sterling gray and seeing my new F-150 painted the same, reminded me of that truck and subsequently all the fond memories with it.

I signed the paperwork, drove it off the lot, and never looked back.

Kinda...

Just the other day, I cruised through a Ford lot, gawking at the 2014 F-150s, which look no different than my 2013 – except there are multitudes of different colors on the lot. I look at red and say, “I should have done that one.” Or I look at the silver and say, “my next one will be that color.” I cruise around the lot and imagine I am behind the wheel of each one – it’s like the rainbow of automotive colors and I am swimming in a pot of gold!

Every color of the rainbow...

However, I ask myself: what is the one color, for my trucks, that will satisfy me forever? I venture to guess black would be that color.

A recent study showed black trucks are far superior to other automobiles as is apparent in this undated photograph. The other cars in the background were too afraid to be photographed.

Yet, I have had a black truck before – a 2001 Ford Ranger and I still did the same thing. Even though black is often my favorite color on an automobile, I still think “what if,” in regard to the possibility of other colors. I have no loyalty to a specific clear coat and I am a sucker for any glistening metallic.

Now here is where I really get thrown for a loop: when I start adding other makes and models into the mix. I start thinking, not only about color, but all the different options, styles, wheel combinations, engine offerings, gear ratios and right about then, my head explodes. And when that happens, I am usually in my truck so now I have to clean up. Believe it or not, I am obsessive compulsive about washing my truck too but I will save that for a later column.

So the suggestion for the remote capable of switching the colors really has two purposes: to give people the joy of changing the color of their vehicle each day, based on their mood and to stop me from thinking so much. Bonus points to the automaker that perfects the technology first.

Scientists, like this one, work around the clock to satisfy eager car buffs indecisive about color.

Although, knowing my luck, I would most likely forget which color I switched to and find myself wondering aimlessly around the parking lot. I guess I can always hold my key in the air and hit the lock button rapidly.

But then I become “that guy.”

"This may take a while..."